For other uses, see Anarcho-Capitalist (disambiguation).
"Who the fuck cares about poor people?"
- Ancap (Ancapistan's Slur Emporium)
The Anarcho-Capitalist (aka Ancap) is an economically far-right anarchist political ideology manifested in human form. Ancap believes in private property rights and free market trade without any interference from the state. He was a member of the extremists, a group of four extreme political ideologies that share the same household in order to advance anti-centrism. After he left the extremists, Ancap became the leader of Ancapistan.
History[]
Political Compass Rap[]
Ancap appears alongside the other three extremists. He is seen spending most of the time trying to buy a 14 year old girl, claiming that it's ephebophilia, not pedophilia.
EVERY EXTREME IS ON THE SAME TEAM[]
Ancap is seen with the other extremists making poses and looking cool and licking $100 bills.
Leftist Infighting[]
When Post-Left checks in on ‘Right Wing Infighting’ he sees Ancap agreeing with other right-wing ideologies about their mutual hatred of libtards.
Ancapistan's Slur Emporium[]
Ancap advertises his new business idea: selling slur passes.
End Discrimination[]
Ancap appears at the end of End Discrimination. He starts off by insisting that Ancapistan has always been in support of anti-government protests and minority rights, despite having sold slurs in the past. He then turns it into a warning for anybody looking to loot Ancap and Libertarian's stores, saying that "if you fuck with our private property, we'll fuck with you". Libertarian is the one recording this part of the video.
Print Money[]
Ancap and the 'Social Darwinist' make a PSA of the dangers of hyperinflation, with Ancap asking the audience if we want to become like the Weimar Republic (which, through the poor economy, allowed the rise of Nazism).
#LeftistsForTrump[]
Although Ancap is happy that Bernie dropped out, he proceeds to complain with the Libertarian about how his only choices left in the election are both statists.
Rightists be like[]
Ancap is seen standing next to Nazi on the right side of the screen.
Centricide[]
The League of Anti-Anti Centrists[]
Ancap appears during Radical Centrist’s debriefing to the other centrists on the extremists. He is described as not a threat, as he does not violate the NAP.
Meet the Extremists []
Ancap and the other extremists are waiting in one of his 35 houses for their first mission. He is seen playing cards with Ancom as he answers the questions given to him. When asked about what turned them against the centrists, he does not give a direct answer and instead says in the worst case scenario he’ll just shelter in his luxury bunker. He is willing to work with the other extremists due to the profitability of war, revealing he is secretly charging rent on the other extremists. He gives replies to the ideological questions posed to each of the extremists.
Conservatives, Socialists, Progressives And Libertarians []
Ancap is in Libertaria, having tea with the Libertarian and trying to convince the Libertarian to join the extremists in the Centricide. He is positive about his ability to convince the Libertarian, disregarding Jreg's authority.
He tries to win the Libertarian over by expressing concerns about the effect of rising populism on libertarianism, saying Libertarian will have more profit with less tax. But Libertarian disregards this, not wanting to have to hire private police due to homelessness in Libertaria. Ancap then accuses Libertarian of being too afraid to fully commit to his values or at least become a Minarchist. Libertarian replies by questioning how the NAP would be enforced, again emphasising his homelessness problem. He says he’ll join Ancap when the world is ready for it, but for now he will sell weapons to foreign states. Ancap expresses disgust at this notion.
Ancap updates Jreg, telling him that Libertarian was not going to change his position. Jreg orders Ancap to murder Libertarian, but Ancap is unwilling to violate the NAP. He draws a gun on Libertarian and tells him to run, which he does. He then lies to Jreg, telling him that Libertarian escaped.
Neoliberalism[]
Ancap first appears in J.R.E.G.'s chambers with the other remaining extremists. there he is questioned by J.R.E.G about the Libertarians escape. Ancap is informed by J.R.E.G. that the Libertarian joined the centrists and that they are going to turn him into a neoliberal. J.R.E.G. reminds Ancap that this is his fault for not following orders. Ancap protests this and in response J.R.E.G. summons the ghost of Ayn Rand who tells Ancap to respect authority.
The next time we see Ancap, he is having a conversation with Nazi. Ancap asks Nazi whether or not he thinks that J.R.E.G. will really be able to stop the centrists. Ancap clearly believes that he will not but the Nazi disagrees. Nazi reminds Ancap about how they used to laugh at SJW compilations together. How Nazi laughed because they were degenerates that deserved death, and Ancap laughed because he thought they wanted to infringe on his rights. Nazi then tells Ancap that he wants to infringe on Ancap’s rights to which Ancap says that he is a good person. Nazi then reminds Ancap of all the things that Ancap has done that could be considered wrong or inhumane. Nazi tells Ancap that his moral code is a blatant contradiction and that he is the biggest monster of all the extremists. Nazi then goes to play call of duty.
Ancap then asks Commie if he is a bad person, to which Commie responds by continuing Nazi's argument and bringing up more examples of things making Ancap a bad person. Commie then provokes Ancap to leave team extreme before going off to play call of duty with the Nazi. Ancap decides that he should leave and hops on a helicopter to rescue the Libertarian.
Ancap arrives at the centrist center right after the Libertarian has just agreed to become a neoliberal. Joining Libertarian at the centrist center is Moderate Lee who runs away as soon as he sees Ancap, and Anti-Extremist who attacks Ancap with his knife. Ancap tries to explain that he is only trying to talk to the libertarian while dodging knife attacks from the Anti-Extremist. He then gets cut by Anti-Extremists who reveals that he has stabbed the Libertarian with his knife that will turn him into a neoliberal. Anti-Extremist then says that Ancap will soon also be a neoliberal saying that Ancap's N.A.P. can’t protect him now. To this Ancap says; "one thing people don't seem to understand about the N.A.P. is that if you violate it, you lose protection from it!" Ancap then reveals two pistols and tells Anti-Extremist that he should not have aggressed. Ancap then kills Anti-Extremist, returning himself and Libertarian back to normal. He then proposes the idea of leaving and exploiting the planet for profit. Then, he and Libertarian hop onto Ancap's helicopter and fly away.
Ancapistan[]
Ancap and Libertarian greet Commie and Nazi at the gate of the newly established Ancapistan. He proposes that Commie and Nazi buy weapons from them, as they have already sold weapons to their enemies. Commie then calls him a traitor. Ancap reminds him that he saved the extremists from the threat of Libertarian becoming a neoliberal. Nazi acknowledges Ancap's new outfit and Ancap tells about how he sold his old suit to Libertarian. Nazi asks Ancap to let them through, but Ancap requires that they pay a toll to go through his private property. Libertarian tells them of an ongoing debate on whether or not there is some place for limited government in Ancapistan. Ancap dismisses this idea and Nazi asks if Ancap would discriminate against minorities. "If it's profitable, sure!" says Ancap. Nazi then asks if Ancap would invite him over sometime but Ancap puts down that offer by replying; "shut up statists." Nazi decides that they can afford the toll but Commie would much rather go through by force. Once Commie threatens Ancap and Libertarian, Ancap reminds him that if Commie violates the N.A.P., he is as good as dead. Ancap then sings an epic song (Ancapistan) introducing the Minarchist and the Hoppean. After the song they discuss how the Nazi and Commie will have to pay them on the way back as well.
Accelerationism[]
Ancap, seemingly depressed, checks his stock portfolio while overlooking Ancapistan. This is interrupted by the appearance of Accelerationism and Commie breaking down the door to his apartment. Ancap reluctantly agrees to work with Commie to defeat the new threat while handing him a bill for damages to the door.
They journey to Nazi's headquarters by helicopter, and Ancap shoots the impossible ideology monsters dead before urging Nazi and his followers to join the cause.
Posthumanism[]
As the plane lands, Ancap points out how the Accelerationist is spewing out impossible ideologies. He is seen machine-gunning the Accelerationist from his helicopter, however the Accelerationists destroys his helicopter with a whack from his arm and Ancap falls out and lands on free mattresses.
Other Appearances[]
The Ancap character appears in "Canada's tiny, weird Political Parties" by JJ McCullough.
Ideology[]
Economic Axis[]
Ancap is on the right side of the economic axis, meaning he wants free market capitalism with unregulated trade. He wants this in order to encourage equal competition and quickly solve social problems.
Governmental Axis[]
Ancap is on the anarchist side of the governmental axis, meaning he doesn't want the state involved in any economic affairs. He believes that the state crushes competition and only serves to rob the individual.
Cultural Axis[]
Anarcho-Capitalism doesn't make any clear stance on cultural axis. Ancap's cultural views are, at best, ambiguous. He views that other political ideologies get too caught up in identity politics. At worst, Ancap has no qualms with human trafficking and having children for wives.
He has a business called Ancapistan's Slur Emporium, where he sells passes that allow a person to use any type of slur. Ancap justifies this by saying anything can be possessed by anyone under capitalism and that the proceeds directly benefit the minorities the slurs target.
Despite these problems, Ancap still views all genders and minorities as valid human beings because they can make money, a more positive cultural outlook than traditionalists like Nazi.
Physical Description[]
Ancap can be easily identified by the yellow aura on his body and surroundings, although it sometimes will be purple. His attire always consists of a fedora and sunglasses. Most of the time he wears business suits, however he will wear more casual attire. In addition, Ancap will have his phone on standby to make business deals.
Personality[]
While his mannerisms are soft and can certainly make him appear a civil and polite man, Ancap displays a very posh and often condescending air over those who are less successful than him, reinforcing the stereotype of libertarians/capitalists being hypocritical in their desire to protect the rights of the individual. He is also very greedy and ruthless and is almost always coming up with an ingenious scheme in order to enrich himself, as seen in his video where he advertises his slur business, and in "Meet the Extremists" where he can be found settling his debts with McDonald's by sending them slaves in order to protect himself from being McNuked. In “Neoliberalism,” however, Ancap is seen showing remorse for his inhuman actions, such as underpaying and exploiting his workers. He realizes through Commie and Nazi that he is a “bad person” through his greed and lack of morality.
Weapons and Abilities[]
With regards to weaponry, Ancap is very hands off, besides the revolver and M1911 he is seen carrying in Centricide 4. He will exploit almost any aspect of life for monetary gain, as seen when he dubiously lets the extremists live in his house in order to charge them rent without their knowledge. Ancap has been seen in "NeoLiberalism" using his NAP to seemingly reverse Anti-Extremism's poison, this could suggest that once someone breaks the NAP Ancap can reverse their aggressing action while attacking them. Other than his business practices, Ancap is a huge advocate of recreational nuclear weapons, implying that he has nukes in the first place. In Centricide 4.5, Ancap tells the Communist that a recreational nuke is pointed at the commie. In Centricide 8 he is seen operating a mini gun attached to the floor of one of his helicopters. He can also be seen using some sort of energy based attack with the other extremes.
Relationships[]
Communist[]
The Commie is arguably Ancap's greatest enemy, given that they sit on opposite sides of the political compass. Luckily for him, Commie is more busy fighting with the Nazi most of the time, which allows Ancap to relax and focus on his various business deals. That is not to say they have never had an altercation with one another, as can be seen, most notably when commie stole all of Ancap's bagels and redistributed them amongst Ancom and Nazi in The Conquest Of Bread, and during Commie's remark that Ancap is "... the worst person I could possibly imagine!"
Anarcho-communist[]
It is said that Ancap and Ancom work together sometimes, being linked together by their belief in anarchism, but there has not been any examples of that in the history of their relationship. However, their relationship is rather cordial, especially in comparison with Ancap's relationship with Nazi, which often ends up disadvantaging him or his relationship with commie. Ancom's greatest qualm with Ancap is the glaring contradiction between Ancap's alleged belief in anarchy, which is contrasted by his excessive reliance on private military enterprises to keep himself safe from his enemies. Despite this, Ancom has never been seen attacking or assaulting Ancap or the other way around, which goes to show their firm belief in the non-aggression principle.
Nazi[]
Nazi and Ancap have an occasional relationship of mutual interest, but Nazi has often been seen abusing their relationship for his own gain, as seen when Ancap employed him to retrieve his bagels from Ancom, when he broke their agreement and claimed it for himself or when Ancap attempted to align himself with him to fight off the communist threat, but Nazi was inflexible in his antisemitism which ended up disadvantaging Ancap in his alliance with him, as he doesn't want to be seen as an extremist bent on genocide - unlike Nazi.
Libertarian []
Despite Libertarian being a moderate, Ancap seems to have taken a liking to him, trying to convert him into anti-centrism the civilized way and letting him flee without killing him, claiming he ran away. This ends up complicating things, as Libertarian escapes and joins The League of Anti-Anti Centrists, becoming an enemy to the Extremists. Their friendship grows after Ancap saves Libertarian from being turned into a neoliberal by the centrists, and they show this by abandoning the Centricide and creating Ancapistan together. Libertarian is seen filming videos for Ancap in 'End Discrimination' and helping him become familiar with twitter language (such as 'Stan'). At the end of the "Leftists For Trump" video, it's mentioned that the two share a bunker where they hoard guns. Also, they're married. Tiz Gay.
Minarchist[]
Despite being more statist than Ancap, the two of them appear to get along well as Minarchist joins Ancap and Libertarian in Ancapistan.
Hoppean[]
Ancap and Hoppean get on well and Hoppean joins Ancap and Libertarian in Ancapistan. However, their relationship is slightly less strong than the other capitalists due to Hoppean’s willingness to violate the NAP against so-called degenerates.
8 Child Wives[]
Ancap is known to have 8 child wives who help make business decisions, as referred to in Meet The Extremists || Centricide 2.
Quotes[]
- "Wha-... I keep telling you, it's not pedophilia! It's ephebophilia! Oh, she's only 14? *Bites lip*... Guess it is pedophilia... Still, it's one dollar off though, right?"
- "All drugs should be legal, but for me I'm thinking a mixture of neutropics to maximize my brain power, maybe some cocaine before a business deal."
- "Wait a second... FREE speech? We're just giving it away? Somebody really needs to monetize this."
- "It's not a State, it's cold hard cash that builds your roads and feeds your cats."
- "It's not a system of oppression just because you're bad at it!"
- "So what - are you just supposed to accept that there are some things in life that you cannot possess? NO! You come on over to Ancapistan where we're selling slurs!"
- "For competitive prices, we are making sure that you can use slurs GUILT-FREE!"
- "Who the fuck cares about poor people?"
- "I hate libtards."
- "Ancapistan's slur emporium proves once and for all that there is no problem that the free market cannot solve."
- "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go home to my several child wives."
- "Now listen, if we just let everyone buy a nuke, then we can completely counteract global warming with nuclear winter! Recreational nukes is the answer!"
- "This is really going to upset my eight child wives though... what! It's fine. I paid them for their time."
- "I never wanted to work with statists. But the state of this system is not the greatest."
- "You can't just be a statist when it benefits you!"
- "OOH! I am about to go Hoppean on all of your asses!"
- "I need to move out of this fucking house."
- "I said run, you liberal! Before I change my mind!"
- "I am good. I respect people's rights. You [Nazi] don't."
- "You know, one thing people don’t seem to understand about the NAP... is that if you violate it... you lose protection from it!"
- "You should not have aggressed."
- "What's wrong with slaves? Slaves are fine."
- "Yeah, don't tread on me man!"
- "Well, some barebones government might actually be a good thing....No! What am I saying!"
- "You wouldn't want to violate our NAP, now would you? We've got a recreational nuke pointed right at ya."
- "Welcome to Ancapistan, where your worth as a man is the worth that you bring."
- "Commies aren't people, and stealing wealth is evil, so go starve all of your sheeple in your latest statist cathedral!"
- "Thank you for you patronage, please come again, Those suckers are gonna have to pay on the way back as well. "
- "We stan! We stan the protest! That's why they call me... a stancap!"
- "If these protests became anti-capitalists, they might actually start to threaten the status-quo!"
- "If you fuck with our private property, we'll fuck with you."
Trivia[]
- Ancap is the first extremist to have a video solely focused on him, in Ancapistan's Slur Emporium.
- Ancap has 35 houses, one of which he let the Extremists use while they waited for their first mission to start.
- He believes slavery and pedophilia are okay, as long as there's a market for it.
- Ancap uses a VPN to hide the sale of his child wives from the government